Greatest thing about Blogosphere is Tags :)). When u dont understand wht to blog abt,here comes a tag to ur rescue :D.
Huda , the lovely one, has tagged me. She's intrested in knowing 8 things I'd want in my "Partner in Crime" - P.I.C (tht's wht we prefer calling "him" ;) ).
1. Knows what to talk and when to talk! He should sense the situation and act accordingly.
2. Loves food and loves to cook/experiment with it. ( I jus discovered how to cooknutrela pulao and give a hint of Pudina chutney. what say ? ;) )
3. We shouldn't have to seek permission from each other to do things. As in,if a pal is in town, I can invite him over without thinking what will my P.I.C think. If he feels like going for a trek, he can. No restrictions whatsoever. As long as we know abt each other's whereabouts, P.I.C can be in Timbaktu for all I care..! :D
4. Should be able to deal with my mood swings using the right techniques ;).
5. Should tease, pull my leg, make my life difficult with his antics! :))
6. Simply hug and cry when he feels like. I'd always want him to share his anger, fraustrations, disappointments, failures with me.
7. Have no hangups when it comes to helping around with homely chores. Mil baatke kaam karenge :P
8. Shouldnt think twice before holding my hand infront of his pals. Rather introduce me as "Meet my Angel!" (Wow!!!)
Short and sweet na :)
Huda, Prachi Veeru ,Anuraag and Arpit I want to know your 8s.okies. ;-)
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Hidden feelings
Everybody has a way of expressing their feelings. Some people talk about it for hours and hours. Some bottle up their feelings and drown them in a number of bottles or puffs. Some just snap at the people around. Some just write it in a blog. Well i am one of the latter.
And if you are still reading this you are suicidal. Anyways i enjoy taking a pen and joting down whatever i feel and at times the words just jostle around my brain they push each other away and fight for a space in my page.
Here it goes..dont blame me after reading it ...
To Supreme Divine Force : I Want to go two days back.
We all know "Everything happens for good".
But Who is mocking me?
If I cant give you happiness, I promise I will never give you any tears.
I’ll never ask this again to you….I m no one to ask this again to you ??
When we least expect, thing come true and when expect it....it never turn up but still there is nothing bad in hoping .
Don’t break my belief .... don’t lie to me .. my fingertips touch the others, reality merges into illusion, and i see your face ..pain dissolving into tears.. There is silence between us….I cannot take it anymore . My hand reaches out but only air is there and I can feel the emptiness in your eyes n in your soul. Oh God ! why its happening to me.
Now the reality...
But being an army officers daughter i do not appreciate tears. So not many people have seen me cry that is except for the reasons 4 and 2.I prefer sitting in a corner and writing stuff and expressing my feeling to the pages of my diary which are bound to make others cry!!! Ha ha..call me wicked!!
But there are those close friends of mine who read my face and identify the issue so correctly. Its amazing coz i myself would not know what is bothering me!
And if you are still reading this you are suicidal. Anyways i enjoy taking a pen and joting down whatever i feel and at times the words just jostle around my brain they push each other away and fight for a space in my page.
Here it goes..dont blame me after reading it ...
To Supreme Divine Force : I Want to go two days back.
We all know "Everything happens for good".
But Who is mocking me?
If I cant give you happiness, I promise I will never give you any tears.
I’ll never ask this again to you….I m no one to ask this again to you ??
When we least expect, thing come true and when expect it....it never turn up but still there is nothing bad in hoping .
Don’t break my belief .... don’t lie to me .. my fingertips touch the others, reality merges into illusion, and i see your face ..pain dissolving into tears.. There is silence between us….I cannot take it anymore . My hand reaches out but only air is there and I can feel the emptiness in your eyes n in your soul. Oh God ! why its happening to me.
Now the reality...
But being an army officers daughter i do not appreciate tears. So not many people have seen me cry that is except for the reasons 4 and 2.I prefer sitting in a corner and writing stuff and expressing my feeling to the pages of my diary which are bound to make others cry!!! Ha ha..call me wicked!!
But there are those close friends of mine who read my face and identify the issue so correctly. Its amazing coz i myself would not know what is bothering me!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
My Prayers...
One thing that has amused me when I look back into past has been ‘The Prayers’ that I did. Ok, I have had a transition from an extremely religious person to a moderately religious and today an indifferent person…but even today when I pass a temple, church or a gurudwara I feel that it is my right to ask for a gift from God and I go ahead. As I have grown, my demands to God hv also changed. I dont remember when was the that first time when i chanted Chalisas or Aarti in front of God. But there is a particular way in which I talk to the Almighty. I just shoot the set of demands on Him and walk away.
The earliest demands to God that I remember I made, were for getting a doll, since all my friends had it and I didn’t . Then I started going to school, those days I remember I have a favourite teacher Ratna mam. I was particularly obsessive for her and always wanted to be around her…almost evrytime…. even in my summer holidays i went to her home once. I used to feel threatened when I saw someone getting appreciation from her or getting gud grades in homework in Social studies.
For years together during my early school days my opening sentences to God were’ Bhagwaan mein mam ki favorite student rahoon please’!!!! Don’t laugh…that’s true!! Not dolls, not money , not cars, not prince but a very innocent demand ??? Too much…when I look back at it.
Then followed the serious studying part of my journey where prayers were just about making it big in school. Nothing else. But there was time when I took break from praying….during class 12 or so. There was a sudden realization in me that everything is in my hands and chanting demands in front of God will not help. I just asked God for concentration in every thing I did. And still now i pray to Bhagwan ‘mein kisse ka galat na karoon ..’ . There was a sense of independence and a fear that I was responsible for all the bad or worse things that would happen to me since I really stopped asking God for anything.
What so ever…. Those years were the most revealing part of my life. I learnt to live without the comfort of ‘I have asked God’. I was growing!!
Its not that I didn’t return to God. Once in a while everyone faces situations where we know that things are not in our hands and some divine intervention is needed.
Sadly the prayers dnt exist now…..I realized that I dnt need to waste them on an unworthy cause. I realized I cannot disconnect myself from The Supreme Life Force. Its just that today I refuse to give it a form or accept it in some form…but The Universal Life Force exists.We all know that ‘God drives us’ to ‘God punishes us; and now to‘God just guides us’ I have travelled huge distances in my short life.
The earliest demands to God that I remember I made, were for getting a doll, since all my friends had it and I didn’t . Then I started going to school, those days I remember I have a favourite teacher Ratna mam. I was particularly obsessive for her and always wanted to be around her…almost evrytime…. even in my summer holidays i went to her home once. I used to feel threatened when I saw someone getting appreciation from her or getting gud grades in homework in Social studies.
For years together during my early school days my opening sentences to God were’ Bhagwaan mein mam ki favorite student rahoon please’!!!! Don’t laugh…that’s true!! Not dolls, not money , not cars, not prince but a very innocent demand ??? Too much…when I look back at it.
Then followed the serious studying part of my journey where prayers were just about making it big in school. Nothing else. But there was time when I took break from praying….during class 12 or so. There was a sudden realization in me that everything is in my hands and chanting demands in front of God will not help. I just asked God for concentration in every thing I did. And still now i pray to Bhagwan ‘mein kisse ka galat na karoon ..’ . There was a sense of independence and a fear that I was responsible for all the bad or worse things that would happen to me since I really stopped asking God for anything.
What so ever…. Those years were the most revealing part of my life. I learnt to live without the comfort of ‘I have asked God’. I was growing!!
Its not that I didn’t return to God. Once in a while everyone faces situations where we know that things are not in our hands and some divine intervention is needed.
Sadly the prayers dnt exist now…..I realized that I dnt need to waste them on an unworthy cause. I realized I cannot disconnect myself from The Supreme Life Force. Its just that today I refuse to give it a form or accept it in some form…but The Universal Life Force exists.We all know that ‘God drives us’ to ‘God punishes us; and now to‘God just guides us’ I have travelled huge distances in my short life.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Let the dove fly away!!!
Many times we have to do things for others sake even though it doesn't provide us inner happiness but as a human you cant go without conserning for others.I m trying to get rid off this attitude of mine since long time..still no success.
But i bet i'll overpar this soon. But then will i be on right track ...... its a big question!!!!
I am bored-with-work"or"bored-without-work" today. And hoping to post this blog today only.
Our Life is like a a tree on which a lively dove comes and sits and tree want her to be there forever, but poor tree doesn't aware of the fact that dove has wings and she will fly away one day..she will be sailing througout the sky.... tree is not her destination. Dove flies away . And tree is supposed to be happy. We by our human nature try to hold things with ourselves .And we regret later.
Regrets. I think we should not believe in that. Memories always stays with you as black and white golden moments. And life is to be live and spreading happiness. People create confusion between love and possession. Love is pretty confusing word. Love is not about finding someone to love oneself. Its about loving someone.
There is only one example exist in this world where u get to know whats the love ...And i m going to disclose it today..with no self intrest, no expectations, no regrets, no ego, which doesnt need anything in return. Its Mother's Love for her child.
A Mother wont do a thing that will make her child unhappy even though she has to undergo hurt.. its just the child happiness she wants ..the smile on her child's face give her immense satisfaction...she knows that after few years there is least possibility that child will do the things as per her wish. Or knowingly or unknowingly not hurt her...she is a real symbol of True Love.
Maybe this seems a very practically difficult way to love , but then just when you get practical about love , it ceases to be love.
I feel peaceful now. We as human , we can give people more smiles than the tears atleast, if we cant give true love. Rite?? And my clock says its past 3:40 in the evening. I better go to have lunch...yesterday i missed it and raised the revenues of Mc Donalds .. same coke-shoke , mc-veggies uff ..i shud go now.
But i bet i'll overpar this soon. But then will i be on right track ...... its a big question!!!!
I am bored-with-work"or"bored-without-work" today. And hoping to post this blog today only.
Our Life is like a a tree on which a lively dove comes and sits and tree want her to be there forever, but poor tree doesn't aware of the fact that dove has wings and she will fly away one day..she will be sailing througout the sky.... tree is not her destination. Dove flies away . And tree is supposed to be happy. We by our human nature try to hold things with ourselves .And we regret later.
Regrets. I think we should not believe in that. Memories always stays with you as black and white golden moments. And life is to be live and spreading happiness. People create confusion between love and possession. Love is pretty confusing word. Love is not about finding someone to love oneself. Its about loving someone.
There is only one example exist in this world where u get to know whats the love ...And i m going to disclose it today..with no self intrest, no expectations, no regrets, no ego, which doesnt need anything in return. Its Mother's Love for her child.
A Mother wont do a thing that will make her child unhappy even though she has to undergo hurt.. its just the child happiness she wants ..the smile on her child's face give her immense satisfaction...she knows that after few years there is least possibility that child will do the things as per her wish. Or knowingly or unknowingly not hurt her...she is a real symbol of True Love.
Maybe this seems a very practically difficult way to love , but then just when you get practical about love , it ceases to be love.
I feel peaceful now. We as human , we can give people more smiles than the tears atleast, if we cant give true love. Rite?? And my clock says its past 3:40 in the evening. I better go to have lunch...yesterday i missed it and raised the revenues of Mc Donalds .. same coke-shoke , mc-veggies uff ..i shud go now.
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