8 BAHANE KARKE

Greatest thing about Blogosphere is Tags :)). When u dont understand wht to blog abt,here comes a tag to ur rescue :D.

Huda , the lovely one, has tagged me. She's intrested in knowing 8 things I'd want in my "Partner in Crime" - P.I.C (tht's wht we prefer calling "him" ;) ).

1. Knows what to talk and when to talk! He should sense the situation and act accordingly.
2. Loves food and loves to cook/experiment with it. ( I jus discovered how to cooknutrela pulao and give a hint of Pudina chutney. what say ? ;) )
3. We shouldn't have to seek permission from each other to do things. As in,if a pal is in town, I can invite him over without thinking what will my P.I.C think. If he feels like going for a trek, he can. No restrictions whatsoever. As long as we know abt each other's whereabouts, P.I.C can be in Timbaktu for all I care..! :D
4. Should be able to deal with my mood swings using the right techniques ;).
5. Should tease, pull my leg, make my life difficult with his antics! :))
6. Simply hug and cry when he feels like. I'd always want him to share his anger, fraustrations, disappointments, failures with me.
7. Have no hangups when it comes to helping around with homely chores. Mil baatke kaam karenge :P
8. Shouldnt think twice before holding my hand infront of his pals. Rather introduce me as "Meet my Angel!" (Wow!!!)

Short and sweet na :)

Huda, Prachi Veeru ,Anuraag and Arpit I want to know your 8s.okies. ;-)

Hidden feelings

Everybody has a way of expressing their feelings. Some people talk about it for hours and hours. Some bottle up their feelings and drown them in a number of bottles or puffs. Some just snap at the people around. Some just write it in a blog. Well i am one of the latter.

And if you are still reading this you are suicidal. Anyways i enjoy taking a pen and joting down whatever i feel and at times the words just jostle around my brain they push each other away and fight for a space in my page.

Here it goes..dont blame me after reading it ...

To Supreme Divine Force : I Want to go two days back.
We all know "Everything happens for good".

But Who is mocking me?

If I cant give you happiness, I promise I will never give you any tears.
I’ll never ask this again to you….I m no one to ask this again to you ??

When we least expect, thing come true and when expect it....it never turn up but still there is nothing bad in hoping .
Don’t break my belief .... don’t lie to me .. my fingertips touch the others, reality merges into illusion, and i see your face ..pain dissolving into tears.. There is silence between us….I cannot take it anymore . My hand reaches out but only air is there and I can feel the emptiness in your eyes n in your soul. Oh God ! why its happening to me.

Now the reality...
But being an army officers daughter i do not appreciate tears. So not many people have seen me cry that is except for the reasons 4 and 2.I prefer sitting in a corner and writing stuff and expressing my feeling to the pages of my diary which are bound to make others cry!!! Ha ha..call me wicked!!

But there are those close friends of mine who read my face and identify the issue so correctly. Its amazing coz i myself would not know what is bothering me!

My Prayers...

One thing that has amused me when I look back into past has been ‘The Prayers’ that I did. Ok, I have had a transition from an extremely religious person to a moderately religious and today an indifferent person…but even today when I pass a temple, church or a gurudwara I feel that it is my right to ask for a gift from God and I go ahead. As I have grown, my demands to God hv also changed. I dont remember when was the that first time when i chanted Chalisas or Aarti in front of God. But there is a particular way in which I talk to the Almighty. I just shoot the set of demands on Him and walk away.
The earliest demands to God that I remember I made, were for getting a doll, since all my friends had it and I didn’t . Then I started going to school, those days I remember I have a favourite teacher Ratna mam. I was particularly obsessive for her and always wanted to be around her…almost evrytime…. even in my summer holidays i went to her home once. I used to feel threatened when I saw someone getting appreciation from her or getting gud grades in homework in Social studies.

For years together during my early school days my opening sentences to God were’ Bhagwaan mein mam ki favorite student rahoon please’!!!! Don’t laugh…that’s true!! Not dolls, not money , not cars, not prince but a very innocent demand ??? Too much…when I look back at it.

Then followed the serious studying part of my journey where prayers were just about making it big in school. Nothing else. But there was time when I took break from praying….during class 12 or so. There was a sudden realization in me that everything is in my hands and chanting demands in front of God will not help. I just asked God for concentration in every thing I did. And still now i pray to Bhagwan ‘mein kisse ka galat na karoon ..’ . There was a sense of independence and a fear that I was responsible for all the bad or worse things that would happen to me since I really stopped asking God for anything.

What so ever…. Those years were the most revealing part of my life. I learnt to live without the comfort of ‘I have asked God’. I was growing!!
Its not that I didn’t return to God. Once in a while everyone faces situations where we know that things are not in our hands and some divine intervention is needed.

Sadly the prayers dnt exist now…..I realized that I dnt need to waste them on an unworthy cause. I realized I cannot disconnect myself from The Supreme Life Force. Its just that today I refuse to give it a form or accept it in some form…but The Universal Life Force exists.We all know that ‘God drives us’ to ‘God punishes us; and now to‘God just guides us’ I have travelled huge distances in my short life.

Let the dove fly away!!!

Many times we have to do things for others sake even though it doesn't provide us inner happiness but as a human you cant go without conserning for others.I m trying to get rid off this attitude of mine since long time..still no success.

But i bet i'll overpar this soon. But then will i be on right track ...... its a big question!!!!
I am bored-with-work"or"bored-without-work" today. And hoping to post this blog today only.

Our Life is like a a tree on which a lively dove comes and sits and tree want her to be there forever, but poor tree doesn't aware of the fact that dove has wings and she will fly away one day..she will be sailing througout the sky.... tree is not her destination. Dove flies away . And tree is supposed to be happy. We by our human nature try to hold things with ourselves .And we regret later.

Regrets. I think we should not believe in that. Memories always stays with you as black and white golden moments. And life is to be live and spreading happiness. People create confusion between love and possession. Love is pretty confusing word. Love is not about finding someone to love oneself. Its about loving someone.

There is only one example exist in this world where u get to know whats the love ...And i m going to disclose it today..with no self intrest, no expectations, no regrets, no ego, which doesnt need anything in return. Its Mother's Love for her child.
A Mother wont do a thing that will make her child unhappy even though she has to undergo hurt.. its just the child happiness she wants ..the smile on her child's face give her immense satisfaction...she knows that after few years there is least possibility that child will do the things as per her wish. Or knowingly or unknowingly not hurt her...she is a real symbol of True Love.

Maybe this seems a very practically difficult way to love , but then just when you get practical about love , it ceases to be love.
I feel peaceful now. We as human , we can give people more smiles than the tears atleast, if we cant give true love. Rite?? And my clock says its past 3:40 in the evening. I better go to have lunch...yesterday i missed it and raised the revenues of Mc Donalds .. same coke-shoke , mc-veggies uff ..i shud go now.

Food for thought !!!

People meet, People depart..we meet to make good memories and depart to preserve it forever.

Everyday we meet different people and they have impact on our life in someway. And the funny thing is that we realize the value of something only when it begins to leave us. When we are snuging with our friends then we don't need any special person's company but to express our inner emotions we need someone our own. With whom, when we talk, we don't feel to give second thought or feel pity for any of our nostalgic feelings.

She was waiting for him to come and pick her but the time was moving at such a slow pace that passing a single second become hard. At last after a hour wait he appears wearing white polo and a khaki. since a long time plan they were moving to a Music store . She was looking for Ronan Keating's collection. There she got her CDs. Actually he got to know about her when she joined the same firm in which he was working...He planned to have a coffee with her...initially she refused but there was a appeal or an attraction in the boy which she couldn’t go without noticing... and they decided to meet in Delhi for a simple coffee ... nearby Lajpat and as the time elapsed the girl poured all her sentiments and feelings to him...may be at some extent the boy was right..They enjoyed a good time together...but one thing that guy was lacking was that he lacked the mindset to commit any relation or was it that he simply couldnt take her throughout his life!!!! This thought seemed to have dazed her. She's in a melancholic state now.

I remembered a line from one of my favourites..
The fame thing isn't real... I'm still just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

Nothing as we wish..
what happened to the relation of he and she ..its over like every second relation on this earth :( .. hmm...
They stand in that corridor -- in that small space. Saying goodbye. A strange feeling of intimacy. She leans forward and she kisses him. Total silence. A real sense of the strangeness of those lips, those lips on his. They part.

And it comes to an end.

so truly said ..from one's point of view..after having steadiness in our life we always want a person who loves you not for your name, job, or fame but for what you are, your true self.

People have a quite good relations and even then they give it the name of friendship. Even though there are many circumstances in which the two might be more than just friends. But a fear of acceptance is always playing in back foot. Is it RIGHT?? Oh God .. I m confused.

Bless them .

We become so much dependent on other..we need them in even in our minute decisions..everytime looking for them but if you are looking for a future with him/her, then you should have courage to sustain that relation throughout..at least you must make some certainty in your life. People are more biased for understanding ..mature ..or so..but have you ever thought for yourself being in the same shoe ...most of us say No. This is such a fragile relation that needs to be given proper care and nurture. We desire to earn money, and eventually when we got all these materialistic things, we realised that we are still empty hands... searching for an emotional support ..a person who can interestingly, patiently try to put rhymes with our tune …...give satisfaction. Nothing in life is permanent but, when a relationship ends, rather than becoming bitter, we must learn the lesson to savour the memory of good things while they lasted.

Me and common cold.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning and after about 4 hours of shut eye I woke up this morning feeling awful. I had to work today and my cold felt like someone had hit me over the head...with a hammer. Naturally, as a normal being , I took the afternoon off work citing my illness as the flu.......I just want to get out of this cold..ahh ..its choking me and am not able to help it out.
Oh God there is nothing to eat ..why this is happening to me ..what will happen to my diet plan ?
I ordered that ‘chane kulche’ from nearby Chaddha foods..thanks to Chaddha uncle.
Last but not least me and one of my roomies planned to have juice and its taste was real painkiller.
God send someone..oh please .. to save me from this cascading incident since last night. The inhaler is pathetic and the cold is worsening every second..i need a sound sleep or a week long break. But none is meant for me.

After having a hot coffee with combiflam ..I m feeling a little bit relaxed.. again back to work..let do something meaningful.

Happiness !!!!!!!!

I m feeling very much hungry ..what shud i do..oh my God..its same thing patties, cakes, chips..ohhh i dont want to become like a couch potato...hey God ..

Weather outside is so calm and lite breeze is there. Need some company to go out for a morning walk..shall i ask him..no no ...it will not look good..who cares ...on the grass with barefoot..feeling the dews ..alas its office hours..ohh wat the hell i m doing here ...but why i m thinking in that ways ....enjoy each moment as it will never repeat itself.

But wat shall i do now..hmm..an idea cliché in ..yup i can always hav a maggi my all time favourite since my grads... now i can write something good so that i can reciprocate something from it.

Now i m full and happy ......and the happiness..smile... When you are able to give other people joy and put a smile on their face, especially when they need it most, you will be giving them the greatest gift you can give. One such moment occurred for me when I was very late for an appointment and frustrated at getting every red light. As I sat fuming at the latest stop, I noticed a little boy in the school bus next me making silly faces at people. Watching him made me feel happy. I wrote this moment down in my notebook.Such things happen usually but we move on without noticing it.

How many happy moments are you missing in your day? Try noticing them...we often miss them. Evry time we r busy in simulation or diagnostic.. we easily forget these bubbly moments of our life and everytime compelling ourself in that monotonous routine.We need to break free of these self-imposed prisons.When something wonderful happens to us, we usually know we're happy. It's the common, everyday moments of happiness that often elude us.It's hard to feel happy when you're focused on the negative. Like a big pimple on our face, what we don't like can seem to be much more obvious than what we do like. Unfortunately, the more we focus on the negative, the more likely that's all we'll see.

Some time we should be like madcap and shud allow the flow of thoughts....am i became a zany......ah......i think i shud stop here!!!!!!!!!!!!! enough for the day..

Express it at times

Today i had a calm discussion with one of my colleague ..she was disturbed .. after a pause a thought came in my mind.

It is so hard when you love someone so much. Life is short...One should always show their love the depth of their love everyday and remind them that they are loved in so many ways. Tomorrow may be to late. If love ends, you both lose. Live like there is no tomorrow...hold the one you love today.

The importance of not taking for granted every second you have in a relationship because you never know when it could be taken away from you, and how all of your actions have tremendous meaning in yours and your loved ones lives.

But even though knowing this fact people don't express their feelings ...its not always a luv b/w a guy an a gal ..it may be a true friends..or some senior person ..some colleague..anyone.